Exploring the Issue of Sexual Addiction for Women

As women, sexual addiction is unique. We rationalized our sexual behaviors. As we lived a double life, we became disconnected from reality making true intimacy with another impossible. We carried this behavior from relationship to relationship and even into our marriages.

We have learned to numb our feelings and to cope with our inadequacies by reaching out for a cure that would ultimately destroy us. This in effect defined our belief system in a way that was not in line with God’s plan for sexuality. Eventually, our behaviors resulted in losing relationships, our marriages, jobs, and material possessions and in some cases, our children.

Characteristics of Someone Struggling with Sexual Addiction may include, but are not limited to:

• Engaged in promiscuity and illicit relationships

• Engaged in sex with self, phone sex, cybersex, pornography, sex outside of marriage, hook-ups

• Engaged in exotic dancing, escort services or prostitution

• Perceive attraction, attachment, and sex as basic human needs, as with food and water

• Jeopardized our morals and our relationships

• Lived a double life

• Lacks self-worth

• Fears intimacy

• Feels abandoned

• Need to be in control

• Escalating tolerance for high-risk behavior

• Defining “wants” as “needs”

How We Find Recovery

Through a relationship with Jesus Christ as Savior and Higher Power, and by working the 8 recovery principles and the Christ-centered 12 steps, we can find freedom from our hurts, hang ups and habits.

Characteristics of Someone in Recovery for Sexual Addiction may include, but are not limited to:

• Accept Jesus Christ as Higher Power

• Working the 12 step recover process diligently and consistently.

• Shifting our worship from our sexuality to God.

• Finding healthy coping mechanisms for negative feelings, emotions, and circumstances.

• Developing a healthy identity and positive self worth that comes from God, not our bodies or others.

• Learning to love ourselves as God loves us, so knowing we are worth the work it takes for Him to heal us.

• Emotionally connecting with God, self, and others, and developing safe relationships.

• Not engaging in sex with self, phone sex, cybersex, pornography, or a sexual relationship outside of marriage.

• Seeking a Biblical definition of healthy sexuality.

• Become willing to experience, grief, forgiveness, and acceptance.

• Discerning the difference between physical “need” and “want”

• Avoid cross over addictions; i.e. food/alcohol/drugs/codependency

• Avoid people, places, and things that tempt us to act out.

• In our recovery, we become willing to be used by God to bring hope to others with similar struggles.

Small Group Guidelines

• Keep your sharing focused on your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Please limit your sharing to three to five minutes.

• There is NO cross-talk please. Cross-talk is when two people engage in a dialogue during the meeting. Each person sharing is free to express feelings without interruptions.

• We are here to support one another. We will not attempt to “fix” one another.

• Anonymity and confidentiality are basic requirements. What is shared in the group stays in the group. The only exception is when someone threatens to injure themselves or others.

• Offensive language has no place in a Christ-centered recovery group.